Money Making Schemes

Yank living in Australia. 8-1/2 weeks preg with Oz citizen father. I’m on 457. Can I become AU citizen?

I’m 40 years old and on a 457 visa, but waiting for DeFacto application to be approved until after my 1st baby born due to having to wait on chest x-ray requirements. The father is Australian and British citizen and from I am from North America. Relationship not going well after a second go. I let him charm me back into a relationship and now the reality has set in and I am afraid of my mental and physical well being (due to extreme stress and anxiety that lead to depression with medication the first time we were together and consequently is now, funny enough, back AGAIN!) I NOW refuse to live together as a couple due to my partners mental abuse to me (a pattern in all of his relationships) One afternoon, his friends shook their finger at me and said” I heard you were dancing with the devil again” and warned me to stay away from my partner as he strings along women and mentally breaks them down, verbally abuses and screws up all the women he dates They all leave the relationship in a devastated state. His best friends (our friends) respect me as I have known them (some longer than my partner) and told me to remember it was NOT ME, but HIM that was f***** up and to walk away while I still could. After this conversation, I left on holiday for 10 days and came back to my original senses (like the first time) and was going to break it off, but found out after my holiday and the day I was going to break everything off with my partner that I was pregnant!

I am really confused. I really want this baby, but do not want him to be a part of the process anymore. In his abusive anger, he had several times discussed our pregnancy as his regret and a mistake and we should consider the “other” option. The thing I forgot to mention above was that getting pregnant was his WHOLE idea from the beginning!!!!! He did not stop thinking about it for months and tricked me into it one night. I know now it was his way of trying to make us a complete couple again. He lives in a fantasy movie. Now he is Blackmailing me into saying that if we can not live as a couple in bringing up a child together like a married couple, then he thinks we need to and I need to leave Australia. Also, now he says that I tricked him into going defacto!!!!!!! EVERYTHING WAS HIS IDEA!!! I need help and my head is spinning with hormones and my second depressive episode EVER!!! (Both depressive episodes due to the same guy at the same timing in the relationship-certainly a pattern here!)

What I want?-I want this baby, but do not really want his involvement. He will cause the same mental abuse to our child. He is toxic to all relationships and he hates is own father! (as he is repeating the same patterns of his father)

Do I leave Australia and have the baby in my own country and try to legally keep the father out of our lives and save me and my baby’s lifetime of abuse, legal fees, time, money, unhappiness and custody struggles?

I am 40 years old with no children and my partner is 47 with 3 careless previous abortions/miscarriages. Biologically, time is not running in my favor, but only took me one month to get pregnant the first time. I am strong mentally and physically woman that looks younger than I am. I run marathons, have a successful IT career, have an awesome support of family and friends back in the UK and am one of those people that can easily do anything I put my mind to. I have not doubt that I can do this on my own and KNOW that my child would be better off without his cheating, deceitful biological father involved. But I am quickly finding out that the father’s blackmails have turned into legal discussions behind my back. He is threatening to serve me with legal papers and to call my mother if I do not agree to make a final decision with him by the end for the week and spill the news before I have a chance to discuss with my family. My family is EXTREMELY religious and need to hear this from me face to face when I am home next month and I need to handle this situation very carefully. My parents do not need to hear this from someone they have never met ever before and especially over the phone.!!!!
I am looking for an agressive family custody law specialist here in Australia or in the United States if anyone has any recommendations. Mine and my babies life-long health depends on it. If I have to abort, then it would be better on both me and my child than to have to live with the results of his mental abuse and emotional blockage that the father is not willing to acknowledge or begin to explore and for us to have to only pass down to another generation! The buck stops here one way or another!!!

Any and all advice, positive or negative is welcome!

Thank you very much for your assistance and advice in advance!!!!!

How do I convince my sister and her boyfriend that the child NEEDS to stay with me?

I’ll try to make this as short as possible:

My sister’s boyfriend of 3ish years has a daughter who is 3 1/2. I’ve been around this child since she was born and she calls me aunt and my husband her uncle. When she was born her bio mom had full custody of her and jerked her dad back and forth about whether he could see her. When she was 1 1/2 her dad got full custody of her because her mother was literally abusive. She has no job, no car, no money, no house, NOTHING! She just mooches off of people and moves around to dirty house after dirty house. The child constantly had infections, cigarette burns, bruises, and was filthy head to toe. She never had a stable place to live or anybody to count on. After her dad got full custody we THOUGHT things would be ok. My sister and her boyfriend got an apartment and the mother more or less dropped out of the picture. Soon, though, they got evicted for not paying rent. They moved around between my dad and mom and the boyfriends family members. Again, the child didn’t have a stable place to live or even the same bed to sleep in every night. They at least don’t hurt the child and they keep her clean, but they don’t understand that a child that young NEEDS stability in her life. They just drag her around like she’s an accessory and then they want to call me for legal advice (I’m a law student) and parenting advice because the mother is causing issues or the child is peeing her pants, throwing fits, etc. They’ve frequently dropped her off to me to “babysit” for a few hours and she ends up staying with me for several days or even weeks!

My kids are 5 and 1 and she LOVES playing with her “cousins” as she calls them. My husband and I live in a 3 bedroom house in a VERY safe family oriented neighborhood. We don’t do any of the things that my sister and her boyfriend do (like house hopping and hanging out at random parties) Our children have a stable structured environment and when my niece is here she quickly adapts to the routine. She stops peeing her pants all the time and she stops throwing fits once she gets settled in our daily routine here. She’s upstairs right now having a dance party and playing dress up with my kids and she’s SO happy. She has her own mattress and rack of clothes at my house because she stays here so often and it makes her feel at home.

Recently the bio mother quite literally kidnapped the child and refused to give her back. She claimed the father was sexually abusing the child and we’ve all been through hell over the last 2 weeks fighting the CPS claims and going to court to get the child back. My sister finally had to stage a kidnapping to get the child away from her abusive mother before she fled the state with her! (They are friends with someone who the mother thinks she’s friends with. The friend got the mother to come to her house and then distracted her while the child played outside and my sister grabbed her. They drove away and hid her here)

So legally, they’ve done nothing wrong because the custodial parent placed the child with me for safekeeping so that the mother can’t kidnap her back and flee the state. I’m beyond stressed over this and it’s going to be SO hard for me to let them take her on Sunday. I can take care of her the way she needs. I can give her the stability she needs. I can enroll her in a GREAT preschool here in my community. I have been encouraging them to set her up with a counselor who can help her deal with all the stress she’s been under and the unhealthy lifestyle she’s had all her life, but I don’t know if they’re going to do it. My husband and I are seriously at the point where we’re considering going for custody of her because we are so attached to her and tired of seeing her jerked around like this, but we don’t want to create such a rift in the family. We don’t know what to do, but we KNOW that this little girl needs to stay where she’s safe with a structured and stable family to love her and take care of her the way she deserves!!!
I COULD take her to court and probably win, but I don’t want to do something so drastic and split my family like that.

Am I attention deficit? – looking for serious answers.?

I’m not sure exactly how many people ask this question, or how often it’s answered, but I’m going to ask it anyway and hope for a reasonable response.
As the headline states, I’m curious about me and ADD. I realize that before anyone can truly answer they’ll have to know a little bit about me first.
… I’m not even sure where to start: so I might as well start with the basics…
I’m a twenty year old female university student. I am currently unemployed and have really only worked at one place, and even that’ss kind of sticky. The place I’ve worked at I’ve been going back to and quitting from for about three years. First I’m hired for seasonal and they say I can stay on and then like two or three months later I quit because I’m bored and want a change of pace. But then no where else will hire me and I lose interest and stop looking and then when christmas comes around and I need more money, out of sure “lazyiness” I go back to the same place and they give me another job. I honestly don’t know how or why he keeps hiring me back. But he does…
And in school… that’s another sort of sticky story. Not for the lack of trying I fear I’ve been dubbed the “slacker” student by all my highschool teachers and university instructors. In fact I didn’t even graduate. My mom let me bail, I don’t know why but she did. I think if she pushed me more and helped me more I wouldn’t feel like I had to. I dropped out because I was doing so incredibly poor, every semester since grade 8 I failed at least one class, again, not the desired effect. I couldn’t stay focused. Every time someone opened their mouth about something pointless I would just zone out or doodle circles, or tap out a beat on my textbook. Homework had the same effect. I’d start doing it, and then… I don’t know… I’d stop, wander off somewhere. Or I’d put it off until the eleventh hour and stay up all night studying or writing if it was an important project/essay.
I don’t know what to do with my life… I fear I lack… something… motivation, I guess. Like I’m going nowhere. All my underachievements leave me with low self-esteem and just generally… well lets just say I don’t think highly of myself… and I have negative habits that reflect that.
My mother always tells me that she wishes I could put as much focus and attention in the things I like into school work, or relationships (I’ve had basically the same friends since elementary school and the only new friends that I have now have been gained through those friends. I don’t make friends easily. In fact I need to know you for at least four months before I’m even comfortable around you, let alone consider you my friend). And its true, when I’m in the zone, I’m there for awhile; for example I’ve stayed up for about 48 hours one time writing a story (I daydream alot, thats about the only thing I do well, and so just sort of do it infront of a computer and it all comes out).
I bounce around in conversations a lot. I could probably just have an entire conversation by myself, the amount of talking I contribute.
Thoughts come and go in my head and I fear that if I don’t get them out right when I have them then I’ll forget about them forever and when I try to recall them its so hard, I mean its like legally-blind-but-still-driving-at-night-through-fog-as-thick-as-pea-soup-hard. I feel like I need a more structured environment to succeed. I anger quickly, in fact that my initial response- not true – I get frusterated first, and then angry if it persists. Not as much as my brother, as he throws things across the room and breaks shit-expensive shit- i just bite things REALLY hard – usually whatever it is that frusterates me – remote controller, wii remote, calculator, iphone, laptop, NDS, my finger.
I lose a lot of thing, my wallet, my watch, my bag, the pencil I was JUST writing with. Its not that I lose them, I think it’s more I inadvertently put them down without realizing it and then when I need it again, I’m like “Oh shit, where the hell did that (insert lost item here) go? I Just had it!”
I can’t sleep until the room is completely black or as black as it’ll get – there can’t be any flashing lights or even any lights really, dull or bright. In fact I have to cover up my alarm clock with red numbers, which I bought because red light has the lowest frequency or w/e (not meaning to sound stupid), and still have to cover up the lights with a book.
And the last thing; my dreams are so darty; first I’ll be me, and then I’ll be me but a boy, and then I’ll be this other character, and the plot will change, and then the sky turns into an ocean, and then I watching like its a movie, and then I’m a bad guy, and then I’m me again but its a different plot then the beginning. I don’t compare drea
props to anyone who actually read and understood it all. I tried at the begining to organize it but it seemed so tedious so I just let it spill out.
also I’ve trouble falling asleep since I can remember; my brain just wont shut off. People tell me to try meditating or to stop thinking, but how do you just stop thinking?
I also transpose words or letters when I speak, like I wont say it backwards but Ill say it jumbled up.
And I have number dyslexia.

Calculating my own (UK) Tax Return. How easy is it?

I run my own small business from my ‘home’ in Northern Ireland (ie: UK) with no employees. I have been operating about seven years, and each year I pay to get my accounts done by a proper Chartered Accountant firm.

I don’t have a massive turn-over and don’t make a lot of profit, but it gives me a reasonable wage to live on. I need to cut a few costs during this credit crunch year or two. Can anyone please offer me useful advice on some of these points:

1. Is it reasonably simple to calculate your own accounts for the Inland Revenue? and thus not have to use an accountant? I obviously keep daily/weekly/monthly accounts (and do my own VAT returns quarterly) myself but my accountant puts everything together for ‘end of year accounts’ each year which he submits to the Inland Revenue before 31st January.

2. Is it reasonably simple to input/send your accounts/tax return in ONLINE? or is it more trouble than its worth?

3. Does the Inland Revenue/Tax ONLINE calculate your information quickly and easily or does it cause a lot of bother with then maybe having to send more information into them, additional phone calls, recalculations, etc?

My accountant always said my accounts I gave them each year (for them to calculate final accounts/tax/etc) were always very neat, tidy, accurate and efficient, so Im just wondering if I can save a few pounds (their BIG bill!) and do my own ‘return’ reasonably easily?

Basically, is it easy and hassle-free to attempt to do my own end of year CALCULATIONS and also the Tax Return ONLINE thus saving (a lot!) money….. OR is it just better to get my usual Accountant to do them (because maybe he has a better idea of what figures to accurately calculate, such as: personal use electric, business/personal petrol mileage, depreciation, etc). He calculates whatever he can legally for my personal/business use because I live and work from my house, and have only one vehicle, a van, which I use for business and personal use.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!!

how can i let my anger go?

my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now and we’ve lived together for about a year and a half. He is still married to his ex/wife and keeps blaming it on our money situation. He promises at income tax time to get a divorce. He never sticks up for me when his two children bad mouth me, and he never includes me on any decisions about them staying here or upraising, but I am good enough to watch them when he needs it. I am good enough to cook and clean up after them. He watches them when we aren’t supposed to have them, which is fine, but we have them every weekend, in the custody agreement, but we never have time for just us. We both work full time jobs during the week. I know this is what is to be expected when you date someone with kids, but when he starts adding extra days in like tonight, we have them two extra days now, on the only night that we actually have more than two hours together. I hold a lot of anger because the children’s mother is still legally tied to my boyfriend, she doesn’t work, she sucks off the child support and welfare, and even when she does have them on her time, his mother takes them A LOT. I just… I have a lot of anger towards this situation. I want my own family, my own start with him. I want him to make me more of a priority than he has been, and it seems like he just is in this comfortable zone of me being wifey. I dont know how to let all of this anger go. I love him, but I dont know how long I can take it cause I know it isn’t healthy. I’m sick of being a second class citizen in my own home. I think I have a fear that he may not love me as much as he loved her, because they were married very quickly after meeting and its been two years and he wont even get a divorce. I know this is scatter brained, but I’ve just been holding this all in. HELP ME. HOW CAN I JUST FEEL NORMAL AGAIN